Am I getting old? Maybe.

As another summer break draws to a close, and the kids head back to school, I can't help feeling a little old this week.

When all the kids finally get back to school this week (why is one going back Monday, one Tuesday, and two on Wednesday - just go back already), I will have one child in High School, one in Junior High (I refuse to call it Middle School) and two in Grade School. Poor Bauder - Gas and Fire there all alone, with no older brother or sister to help out.

Thinking about the fact that next year at this time I will be planning Senior pictures, a graduation and party, and listening to Kym cry because her baby is growing up, was really enough to make me start to feel old. Then you throw in my oldest daughter is going off to Blevins this year, and I swear I felt 100 gray hairs pop out.

How can this be, where have the years gone. What happened to my little girl who didn't have to walk anywhere, because Bubba carried her everywhere. It seem like just yesterday we were living in California and she was crawling around in diapers, and now Junior High. When the hell did she learn to walk?

The words Junior High bring nothing but bad thoughts to my head. Thoughts like: dances, boyfriends, makeup, sleepovers (praying they are not sneaking out), and all the other fun stuff like "can I go hang out at the mall?"

These thoughts make me feel old because when I was her age, they were all the cool things (minus the makeup and boyfriends for me of course). Now that I am the parent, the thoughts that come to my mind are:

Dances - your Mom will chaperon
Boys - I own guns, and so do my brothers, who love their niece very much
Makeup - argument in progress
Sleepovers - I will come by and check in on you
Hanging out at the mall - Probably not - at least until you are 30

I wonder if this is the way my parents thought when I was her age, and I referred to them as old?

Take all of this, and throw in the fact that Friday will be my 16th anniversary (I can barely count to 16), and I had my 20 year High School reunion this summer, and I guess maybe, just maybe, it could be, that I may getting old.

I don't like the idea, and I refuse to give in to it. I will fight the good fight as long as I can on getting old, but may have to give in to the fact one day, that I am old.

As long as I can continue to live by the motto, "I will get old, but will not grow up", I think I will be OK. No matter what the gray hairs and aching body parts say.